It's been a long time.
Doesn't really matter, though. Its more about coming back than it is leaving for awhile.
I felt that urge again. The urge to disconnect, and go back to my dark safe space. Rock back and forth, cry, and empty myself of anything I could.
I need to get out. Not soon, but NOW. I don't know what to do otherwise.
I feel a little like I'm separated from people. I have for awhile, but I feel like now, I seem to have a gulf in *connecting* with people. I feel like something's wrong sometimes, but I don't really know what it is.
How do you put a finger on the splinter in your mind?
I think I'm being unnecessarily dramatic - It's been a weird 24 hours, I can feel some prescient gust of an episode tickling across the back of my neck. But it's not going to be severe, it's just going to be... there.
Had a frank discussion with mom and dad about my marijuana usage today. I don't like feeling controlled - who does? But I need to get out. I feel like I'm being controlled, and I can't handle it. I don't like it. It feels... compromising. There's nothing I can do but accept the reality of it. I feel trapped.
